Avoiding the Rear View
Some teenagers take to driving like a duck takes to water. I was not one of those teenagers. I was more like a chicken taking to water or a cat or any creature that drowns just by looking at water.
The sad truth is that I wore down many driving instructors. Driving disaster incidents included, but were not limited to: plowing through shed doors, running over blueberry bushes, sliding up onto a student-filled sidewalk on a busy college campus, and plunging into a twenty-foot snow drift by hitting the gas, gas, gas, instead of the brake, brake, brake!
So, by my mid-twenties, I still had no license and had pretty much alienated even the most forgiving of teachers. I was down to one woman and her boyfriend who instructed me from the back seat, for safety’s sake, while I risked their lives and limbs behind the steering wheel in the front seat. Let’s call them Valerie and Butch.
You may wonder how these two managed their fear. Well, they did not have nerves of steel. However, I will tell you a little secret: just before each lesson, they partook of inhaled relaxation enhancement. I do not recommend this. I am just reporting the facts.
One of the most exciting (read: dangerous) driving habits I had developed over the years was to stare at my rear view mirror while driving down the road. Somehow, I was fascinated by the Possible Danger that Might Lurk Behind Us. I didn’t really think much about Actual Danger that Existed In Front of Us.
One day, after I swerved a little too close toward oncoming traffic, Butch covered his eyes and screamed. Valerie, a valiant woman of action, leaned forward and flipped up the rear view mirror. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve got to look ahead. Stop looking back.”
Yes, that was a draconian response to my little driving peccadillo, but it worked. I began to concentrate on what was in front of me and after much effort, passed my license exam and became the stellar driver I am today.
Why I am I telling this story? Well, I’ll try not to murder this metaphor, but I’ve learned that in Real Life I can be preoccupied with my rear view mirror, regretting past actions, rehearsing and nursing grudges. I can spend so much time entangled in those thoughts that not only do I forget to fully experience and deeply enjoy the present, I also neglect to look ahead and prepare for what is coming. Yes, we can and should learn from the past, but if our eyes are only and always fixed on the rear view mirror, we miss the present and are unable to navigate toward the future.
So, with the new year approaching, perhaps this may be a resolution to consider: When you’re driving down the road of life, (oh no, not another bad metaphor!), remember to look forward through the window, not back in the mirror.
